The journey from command to connection reflects broader societal shifts toward empathy, vulnerability and inclusion—values that once seemed foreign within the disciplined and rigid confines of military culture and norms. At the heart of this transformation was and is coaching, a practice that I have personally experienced and now champion as a leadership coach. Coaching emphasises the value of open dialogue, self-awareness and collaborative problem-solving, all of which are vital in today’s complex environments.
During my early years of military service, during both conflict and peace, my leadership focus was on maintaining readiness and executing orders with precision and efficiency. The mission was paramount and leadership often took the form of top-down directives aimed at achieving specific, immediate objectives. This approach is not only natural but necessary in high-stress military operations. In such environments, centralised hierarchies and clear lines of authority are essential to ensure rapid decision-making and coordinated action. When lives are on the line and missions are time-sensitive, the traditional command structure provides the clarity and cohesion needed for success.
However, while this command-centric model serves well in high-stress situations, it can inadvertently overlook the importance of personal well-being and growth. In those early days, leadership training emphasised tactics, technical skills and compliance, with concepts like emotional intelligence or personal growth considered secondary. We were trained to follow orders and ensure that others did the same, leaving little room for introspection or self-coaching.
As I became a more seasoned leader, I learned to recognise that effective leadership goes beyond order and discipline. Outside the immediacy of battlefield operations, military leaders also need to be adaptable, thoughtful and resilient. Programmes like the 360-degree feedback assessments emerged, encouraging officers and NCOs alike to seek and reflect on feedback. This marked the beginning of a shift toward self-awareness, opening doors to coaching as a means of personal and professional development.
In my own transition, evolving into a coaching leader played an invaluable role. The experience taught me that leadership extends beyond military objectives; it is about enabling others to grow, adapt and thrive within a community. The journey from being coached to becoming a coach illuminated a fundamental truth: that true leadership empowers others to find their own answers. This approach, grounded in curiosity and deep listening, reminds me of the most impactful military leaders that I followed during operations.
Today, professional military development programmes increasingly emphasise personal reflection, empathy and resilience. The focus has shifted to equipping leaders with the tools they need to support mental health, address the challenges of reintegration and cultivate a culture of trust and inclusivity. We are now recognising that leaders must be adaptable, empathetic and culturally aware to inspire loyalty and resilience in a rapidly changing world.
I left the USA Army in the autumn of 2023 after 23 years. Outside of the Army, NATO and my uniform, I carry forward the lessons of this transformation. Leadership is no longer confined to the walls of command; it extends into the heart of every relationship we build. As a former officer, leader and coach, I am honoured to work with individuals across various fields, helping them navigate the complexities of identity, purpose and connection. The journey has been one of growth and self-discovery, and I am grateful to be part of a profession that continues to redefine what it means to lead with authenticity and purpose.